Holy Matrimony
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
A Match Made in Heaven
The joyful union of a man and woman in the presence of God and His Church is much more than an ancient rite; it’s an actual manifestation of the Gospel of Christ
The Orthodox wedding ceremony is a beautiful expression of the mystical union of Christ to His beloved Church. It is a sacred and eternal covenant, expressed in oneness. Shortly before His betrayal, Jesus prayed to the Father for His disciples through the ages: “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.” John 17:20-23. This eternal oneness, or com-union with the Holy Trinity, based on supreme love, is manifested in the blessed union between husband and wife. It is a witness of the gospel of salvation to all those who are present.
The Apostle Paul gave his spiritual children in Ephesus the following pastoral instruction: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” Ephesians 5:22-32
The Church is the Lord’s precious bride, bound to Him under the New Covenant based on love, and ratified by His precious blood. Therefore, weddings hold a special place in the life of the Church. Jesus worked the first miracle of His public ministry as a guest at a wedding feast of a family friend in Cana. In Jesus’ time, Jewish wedding celebrations were major social events, lasting a week. Wine was an integral part of wedding festivities, so if the wine ran out too soon, it was a social disaster, and the guests would leave. The Holy Virgin Mary, being a close friend of the married couple, was concerned upon hearing the wine had prematurely run out. At her urging, Jesus agreed to bless the wedding celebration by transforming water into the most exquisite wine, to the couple’s joy. According to our Holy Tradition, as a result of this miracle, the married couple believed in Christ, and the groom followed Him as one of His Apostles.
For the New Testament Church, marriage is not merely a social festivity; it’s a most sacred and sublime mystery. It’s the supernatural reality of oneness with God and with each other in love, perfected by the Holy Spirit. It endures the test of time and the trial by fire, so that what is begun on earth does not “part in death” but is fulfilled and continues most perfectly in the Kingdom of God. As God joyfully radiated the power of His creative love when creating man and woman, so is the married couple empowered by Him to generate offspring as their joyful expression of love for each other.
The Wedding Ceremony
The celebration of the sacrament of marriage is made up of the Service of Betrothal and the Service of Crowning. The text of these two services summarizes in words, images and symbols the Orthodox Christian teaching regarding marriage. There are many references to the Old Testament patriarchs whose marriages were blessed by God and served as the ancient Jewish royal and priestly lineage of promise for the birth of our Lord and Savior.
The Betrothal and Blessing of the Rings
The Betrothal consists of a number of petitions, the blessing of the rings, and a concluding prayer. The rings are an ancient symbol of betrothed couple’s commitment to enter into the covenant relationship of marriage. As the Prayer of Betrothal indicates, in the Scriptures, rings were given as signs of commitment, authority and forgiveness. This exchange signifies that in married life the weaknesses of one partner will be compensated for by the strengths of the other. During the service the priest blesses the rings in a form of a cross over the heads of the bride and groom three times, then places them on their right hands.
The Candles
The bride and groom are given candles to hold during the service. The candles symbolize Christ, “the light of the world,” that must burn in the hearts of the bride and groom to light and guide their path throughout life.
The Joining of Hands
The priest joins the right hands of the bride and groom while saying a prayer asking God to unite them in oneness of mind and heart. The bride and groom keep their hands joined throughout the rest of the service to symbolize their unity as a couple in God.
The Crowning
The crowns are symbols of the glory and honor that God bestows upon His faithful people. They are attached to each other by a white ribbon symbolizing the marital unity being entered into by the bride and groom. They are the “crowns of righteousness” spoken of by the apostle Paul in his Second Letter to Timothy, given on the Day of Judgment to those who are faithful to Christ. The bride and groom are crowned as king and queen of their own household which they must rule responsibly, with love and wisdom. The crowns also symbolize martyrdom and sacrifice. Throughout marriage, husband and wife must be willing to sacrifice themselves for one another in imitation of Christ sacrificing Himself for us.
The Scripture Reading
As part of the wedding service, there are two specific readings from the New Testament. The first is from the apostle Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians 5:20-33, which describes the relationship between the bride and groom as an image of the relationship of sacrificial love that Christ has for the Church. The second reading is taken from the Gospel of John 2:1-11, which describes the first miracle of the Lord Jesus as taking place at a wedding in Cana of Galilee to which He, His mother Mary and His disciples had been invited. It is here, at the urging of His mother, the Theotokos, that He changes water into wine so that the celebration of the marriage feast may continue, thus beginning His ministry and the revelation of His glory.
The Common Cup
The bride and groom drink from a cup of wine given to them by the priest in remembrance of Christ’s miracle of changing water into wine at the wedding in Cana of Galilee and symbolizing their sharing in the cup of life together with all its joys and sorrows.
The Dance Of Isaiah
The priest leads the bride and groom around the wedding table three times, in honor of the Holy Trinity, as an expression of joy and celebration. This walk not only represents their first steps together, but also symbolizes their journey through life; the priest leads the couple in the manner they must travel in this journey. The priest holds the Gospel at the head of the procession, reminding the couple the fact that the words of our Lord are to guide them through life. A cross is placed on the encircled table, reminding the couple that the way of Christian living should always be centered on Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for our salvation. The hymns during this procession specifically refer to the prophet Isaiah prophesying the birth of Christ, as well as the apostles and early Christian martyrs bearing witness to Christ and His Gospel by their preaching and teaching, even at the sacrifice of their own lives. Husband and wife take their first steps as a married couple in the Church, following a path marked by the good news of the Gospel.
Removal of the Crowns and Final Blessing
Near the very end of the service, the crowns adorning the couple are removed by the priest, as he remembers in prayer Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca and Jacob and Rachel, and asks God to receive their crowns in his Heavenly Kingdom. He then instructs the bride and groom to “go in peace, doing the commandments of God.”
Priest’s Prayer of Blessing on the Married Couple
“Blessed are You, O Lord our God, Holy Celebrant of mystical and pure marriage, Maker of the laws that govern earthly bodies, Guardian of incorruption, Kindly protector of the means of life: do You Yourself now, O Master, Who in the beginning created man, and appointed him as the king of creation, and said, "It is not good for man to be alone upon the earth; let us make a helpmate for him‑" then, taking one of his ribs, made woman, whom when Adam saw, he said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh, for she was taken out of her man.
For this cause shall a man forsake his father and his mother, and cleave unto his wife, and two shall be one flesh‑" and "whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder." And now, O Master, Lord our God, send down Your heavenly Grace upon these Your servants, (Name) and (Name), and grant unto this woman to be in all things subject unto the man, and to this Your servant to be at the head of the woman that they live according to Your Will.
(+) Bless them. O Lord our God, as you blessed Abraham and Sara.
(+) Bless them, O Lord our God, as You blessed Isaac and Rebecca.
(+) Bless them, O Lord our God, as you blessed Jacob and all the Prophets
(+) Bless them, O Lord our God, as You blessed Joseph and Asenath.
(+) Bless them, O Lord our God, as You blessed Moses and Zipporah.
(+) Bless them, O Lord our God, as You blessed Joakim and Anna.
(+) Bless them, O Lord our God, as You blessed Zacharias and Elizabeth. Preserve them, O Lord our God, as You preserved Noah in the Ark.
Preserve them, O Lord our God, as You preserved Jonah in the jaw of the sea beast. Preserve them, O Lord our God, as You preserved the holy Three Children from the fire, when You sent down upon them the dew of the Heavens. And may that joy come upon them which the blessed Helen had when she found the Precious Cross. Remember them, O Lord our God, as You remembered Enoch, Shem, and Elias.
Remember them, O Lord our God, as You remembered Your holy Forty Martyrs, sending down upon them the crowns from the Heavens. Remember them, O Lord our God, and the parents who have reared them, for the prayers of parents confirm the foundation of houses. Remember, O Lord our God, the wedding company that here have come together, to be present at this rejoicing.
Remember, O Lord our God, Your servant (Name) and Your servant (Name), and bless them. Give to them fruit of the womb, fair children, concord of soul and body. Exalt them as the cedars of Lebanon, and as well‑cultured vine; bestow on them a rich store of sustenance, so that having a sufficiency of all things for themselves, they may abound in every good work that is good and acceptable before You. Let them behold their children's children as newly planted olive trees round about their table; and, being accepted before You, let them shine as stars in the Heavens, in You, our Lord, to Whom are due all Glory, honor, and worship as to Your eternal Father, and Your All‑Holy, Good, and Life‑creating Spirit, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages.” + Amen